Social Networking – the Glass House

Today’s fascination with “social networking” combined with mobile technologies leads to a new reality for today’s younger generations. It’s a reality that requires today’s parents to take an active role in setting boundaries and providing useful coaching. It also mandates that we ALL think about what we’re doing (at least), develop new behaviors, and consciously extend our values into the technological realm (at best).

Over the last decade, social networking has grown from kids using MySpace to include young adults (and a growing number of “oldies”) using FaceBook , professionals using LinkedIn, and even Presidential “tweets”. Mobile technologies paint this canvas with a real time wash – it’s no longer about minding what your child is doing during late night sessions in front of the home PC, it’s about what they do during almost every waking minute during the day!

NB: While my focus here may appear to be on kids and our role as parents, let’s not lose sight of the fact that we must also examine our own behaviors and those of our colleagues and friends.

Frankly, I don’t “tweet” (or “twit” as some have suggested). I don’t really have an interest in knowing up-to-the-minute what all my friends and acquaintances are doing. I really don’t care that your status has changed from “eating dinner” to “reading on the patio” – unless of course you are “pulling weeds from your bed of snow peas”; THAT I would care deeply about! For me, FaceBook and LinkedIn are other stories entirely.

I use FaceBook to keep up with a growing network of friends from all over the world – from my kids away at college to friends and colleagues in Europe to co-workers down the hall. We share pictures, keep up with birthdays, touch base, and comfort, console, and congratulate one another. I was first attracted to FaceBook as a simple means to share photos with people from all over the world that were on a trip I took a number of years ago – but I quickly recognized it as a means to keep up with what my kids were doing when away from the nest. It seems that they live their lives in FaceBook, using it as a platform for self-description, for social and political statements, and to have fun. They do this as openly as if living in a “glass house”.

In this digital age we live in, you never know who is standing outside that glass house peering into your life. A growing number of recruiters and personnel managers are using these tools to locate candidates, qualify them for opportunities, and to perform a sort of background (or behavioral) check on prospective candidates – maybe even active employees! The point is that if you put something in FaceBook (or in a blog you think is only read by three people), you better be comfortable that it is something you want the world to see, and potentially interpret “out of context”.

Can you imagine that social networking has even changed the way we interact socially? Duh! Kids aren’t “officially dating” until their relationship status changes from “single” to “in a relationship with …” Furthermore you can’t tell your love interest that you are too tied to go out and then have Facebook across your circle of friends alight with photos and comments about the wild party you attended that night! Lastly, what may seem like humor or an inside joke to you and your inner circle, can easily be misinterpreted by the people who are offended by the comment. They just might pass you up for that life-changing job opportunity.

The bottom line here is that we have to be mindful (and coach our kids to be mindful) of not only what they say, but how they say it, and by what mechanism. Most people will quickly admit that they will say things in type that they wouldn’t say in person – perhaps because they don’t have to look anyone in the eye when saying it. But we should all ask ourselves “Is this for the world, or only the person I wish to say it to?” If the answer is “it’s for the world to see”, double-check your motivation. I really don’t care how many sheep you have in Farmville and think it’s sad that you spent your sick day killing Mafia dons in MafiaWars! To my own friends, I must apologize for burdening you with the fact that I posted a high score (for me) while playing Three Towers Solitaire the other night – it was a slip of the keyboard (or ego)!